By Timothy Langley
December 12, 2022
The 2022 year-end blow-out party, the annual TSPS Bonenkai, was successfully held on December 7th at the Pullman Hotel in Tamachi. Approximately 30 Members showed-up with 7 guests. The buffet was luxuriant and food, plentiful; the libations flowing as one would expect.
In a distinct break from tradition, entertainment this year was an Awards Ceremony. Six highly-coveted trophies were commissioned by the Bridge. As the photos reveal, no-expense was spared to produce the most glorious representation of achievement in the several distinct categories.
The six awards, and the winners this year, were:
1. The Blue Bucket Award: this handsome trophy is a framed fragment of a destroyed blue-plastic bucket. This represents the accomplishments of our TSPS Member (a duo this year!) who, in spite of a mere tiny challenge, devoted incredible energy & resources, at considerable risk, to achieve a very minor goal, causing great destruction in the process.
The 2022 Winners of this Award are Tony Whitman and Hunter Brumfield, presented in absencia to Bridge Commander Michael Snyder.
2. Most Dayson the Water Award: this trophy consists of a Gift Certificate from renowned local divorce-specialist law firm Dewey Cheatum & Howe for free-consultation in the inevitable event of divorce proceedings by a distraught and neglected wife. The Award goes to that special individual who has most-successfully avoided home-duties by spending all of his available free-time on his boat (or that of a friend’s). The elaborately framed-certificate includes helpful instructions to “Break Glass In Case Of Emergency” instructions.
The Award for 2022 goes to Timothy Langley.
3. Captain of the Year Award: this framed coveted-trophy is otherwise known as “The Captain Crunch Award”. It consists of a luxuriantly-framed cereal box with a copy of a wrecked yacht pasted on the bottom: obviously tremendous thought and no expense were spared creating this gem. The Award is self-explanatory.
The Award for 2022 goes to Claude Strobbe.
4. Greatest Feat of the Year Award: this artful, highly-desired trophy represents the ability to rescue some minor token of victory in the face of otherwise total destruction. Against incredible odds, the winner exemplifies the ability in some TSPS Members to preserve a modicum of decency even in the face of abject humiliation.
The Award for 2022 goes to Evan Burkowsky.
5. Bent-Stanchion Award: this gorgeous silvery Trophy epitomizes the plight of all who devote money, resources and energy to repairing and preserving some object of great affection, only to have it reduced to junk in a single instance of inattention or cruel fate.
The Award for 2022 goes to Commander Michael Snyder.
6. Colossal Coupler Award: this desirous art-deco Trophy will occupy the entire tabletop of the proud winner. Such is the glamorous construction that it would not look out-of-place either outside behind the garage atop a pile of trash or even occupying the entry to a Fortune 100 corporate headquarters. This Trophy represents the enormous weight of responsibility and the pride of ownership conveyed to a boat-owner who is forever destined to simply pour money into a bottomless pit and still end up with a chunk of mere metal.
The Award for 2022 goes to William Van Alstine.
The Bridge acknowledges the great skill and determination of Svetlana Ilyushechkina for working & negotiating with the Pullman Hotel to host this very successful 2023 year-end event. Similarly, the Bridge is indebted to Andrew Lawson for the tremendous wit and suaveness brought to bear as a dynamic & engaging Master of Ceremony for the Awards portion of the evening. Finally, the Bridge would like to acknowledge the tremendous effort, creativity, and dumpster-diving skill evidenced by this year’s production of trophies by Evan Burkowsky and Timothy Langley (the various intellectual-property lawsuits notwithstanding).
Trophies by Timothy Langley
Bonenkai Photo Compilation:
